Oliver Twist: Please sir, I want some more.
Mr. Bumble: [thinking he must not have heard right] What?
Oliver Twist: Please sir, I want some…
Oliver Twist: more?
Mr. Bumble: [surprised beyond belief] More?
So that’s how it rolled pretty much all night. However, in this case … the roll reversal was frequent. Confused? Don’t worry, we’ll clarify the disaster over the next few minutes.
Every restaurant goes through growing pains. Given that “certainty,” growing pains, at least in my mind, are defined as much by the solutions as they are by the problems. The problems from Tuesday were ALMOST unforgivable.
In reality, we’re talking about food and not about life and death. So let’s not get carried away. That aside, let’s call a spade a spade. In this case, the spade was horrible planning, poor execution, weak food, and some server mishaps of epic proportions. Because of the chaos that was involved, I am going to do something a little out of character. Instead of longwinded prose, I’m gonna hit ya’ll up with some bullet points. Let’s begin:
- $5 Dollar event for all the food and drink you can handle (SWEETTTT!)
- Woman walking around with a tip jar … begging customers to donate. Tacky and bad timing. She asked me 4 times in 15-minutes for a tip. This after we had already informed her we had yet to receive any service (and we showed up early). Hence, she was Oliver and I was Mr. Bumble. She stopped bugging us after that, but not anyone else.
- No liquor license. Though not entirely their fault, it’s pretty disappointing when a brewery doesn’t give itself enough time to secure a liquor license. Considering that they over a month past due on their opening date, that’s a major fail.
- One beer on tap … WHAT? You can’t get more than one beer to pump through your taps? Walk 50 steps over to Hop City and buy some freaking kegs!
- No plates for the first 45 minutes … then … plates, but only for a few minutes. Cleared, never to return again.
- Seated on the downstairs patio, services was sporadic and intermittent. It wasn’t until one of us played the role of Oliver and flagged down Mr. Bumble, that we started to receive some love. Admittedly, after that, service was frequent and very polite.
- Jessica the server was awesome!
The food was very hit or miss. Mostly miss. The only thing I enjoyed was the grass fed beef quesadilla. I put some pictures up on flickr … so head over there to check them out (link at the bottom of the post). I know this is a food blog … and ya’ll come hear to read a detailed breakdown of the food. Frankly, I’m just not that motivated. The night was such a disaster … here’s all I really have to say about it:
For a place that puts itself out there as the monster chain of gastro pubs, I was pretty disappointed. The sourcing was fine, but some of the flavor combinations were obnoxiously bad. The worst was probably the crawfish rolls made with grape leaves.
Ah, but that’s not all folks. Now for the coup de grâce! About 45-minutes into our stay, a huddled mass of waiters and waitresses formed. Admittedly, not every server in the place was there … but enough of them were involved that my attention was diverted. Armed with a handful of loaded serving trays … the little hors d’œuvres began to fly off. Into whose mouth? None other than the men and woman of 5 Seasons. In all of my years, I have never seen anything like this.
My ire is waning and I have little left to say. The space is actually pretty cool; but, to be honest, I have neither the time nor the inclination to elaborate on it right now. 5 Seasons just didn’t earn my time. While they seem like nice folk, they need to get their act together post-haste.